That is how I will dance when I become mayor



Peter's Mayor of Calgary
and Ruler of the World Page
Part of the PETER FOR RULER OF THE WORLD network.


Are you really running for mayor of Calgary?
Yes.

Why?
Because.

Do you expect to win?
Does it look like I expect to win?

Then why do it, it seems like a waste of money and time?
Ahhh, see there you go making assumptions that I will either put time or money into my campaign. When in reality I will do neither.

So what does this have to do with you being ruler of the world one day?
Ok, you got me. I don't know how you ever figured out this had something to do with me becoming ruler of the world but somehow you managed to piece it together. You see first mayor of Calgary, then ruler of the world. One step at a time.

So you expect to win?
No, but I figure its a great way to meet chicks. Actually I don't expect to win at all, in fact I'm hoping to come in 2nd last (it is always good to have goals in life). But I figure running for mayor will help me get a couple more votes for ruler of the world.

Pete, I've read though your website many many times, and I have to say you are definitely someone I would vote for. Is there a place I can buy a T-shirt or mousepad with your picture on it? How about a coffee mug?
Man, if I had a nickle everytime I was asked that question I would be able to make a phone call... almost. Sadly there is no merchandise available.

Bummer. Well what is your mayoral campaign platform, what do you plan on doing if you do win mayor?
First I plan on getting really drunk, then figuring out why people voted for me. However, as mayor, if such an unlikely event were to happen, I would do my best to do the following things:

  • Increase funding to K-12 education in Calgary. - This will hopefully save me from having to kill a lot of Calgarians for being idiots. Can you imagine the smell? Let's keep Calgary clean.
  • Have the city buy the Flames and Stamps, and their arenas. - Seems like a waste of money? Perhaps, but how about affordable ticket prices for once? Wouldn't it be nice to get out and watch a game and have some good clean family fun?
  • Make a trade for Lindros, and bench him for the rest of his career. - Ok, this would be a waste of money, but we can be sure that he will never get his name on a cup this way. Nothing upsets me more then those are are 'in it for the money'. Besides he'll only be around until my killing stupid people laser is activated.
  • Go for noodles at Pho Pasture Saigon. - They have really good noodles.
  • Hardline against unions. - Unions have their place, but once their actions get this far they out-live thier usefulness. Threats and acts of terrorism should not be allowed and unfortunately that is all unions are good for these days.
  • Settle union contracts. - Don't get me wrong, unions still have their place to make sure people get fair wages, and there are a lot of unions out there still negotiating for whatever reason. Contracts shouldn't be left this long.
  • More greenspace in the city. - Specially downtown. Infact right now, as I am sure you are aware, council is discussing what to do with the area just east of downtown. I'm thinking we need a big park. Sure we have Prince's Island downtown but why not another as well. That greenspace would be perfect for festivals and during stampede, and think about the extra foot-traffic through the downtown core between the two parks during these times, downtown business would flourish.
  • Keep ENMAX. - Ok, what are these idiots thinking? We privatize liquor, prices go up. We privaitize electricity, gas and more, and prices go up. Sure the city now cuts some of the red off their books and can lower your taxes by 15 cents each year, but you pay twice us much for essential services.
  • Demand a recount.

Wow, you are so cool. I may just vote for you for mayor.
Don't. I have a better idea. Instead, vote for me for ruler of the world. I'll be your friend if you do.

Pete, you are one amazing guy, where do I sign up?
Well right here of course. Fill in your name and your email address below along with any comments and well wishes and you will be added to our database.

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